Confused religion

• A new priest at his first mass was so scared, he could hardly speak. After the service was over he asked the monsignor how he had done. ” Fine , but next week it might help if you put a little vodka or gin in your water to relax you.”
•  The next week the new priest put some vodka in his water and really kicked up a storm. After mass, he asked the monsignor how he had done this time. “Fine” he answered : but there are a few things you should get straight
•  :- no 1 There are 10 commandments , not 12 . 
• no2 There are 12 disciples not 10. 
• no3 David slew Goliath, he didn’t kick shit out of him .
•  no4 We don’t refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
•  no5 Next Saturday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters, not a Peter pulling contest at St Taffy’s
•  no6 The Father, son and Holy Ghost are not big daddy , junior and the spook.
•  No7 Moses parted the water at the red sea, He didn’t pass water . 
• no8 We do not refer to Judas as el finko. 
• No9 The pope is consecrated ,not castrated and we do not refer to Him as the godfather .”