Monday, July 24, 2017

7 stages of sex

not the karma sutra
Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say “screw you”
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And Last, but not least…. The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
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Conversation between a man and a woman:
Man: “I believe in sex on the first date, whether the woman agrees or not!”
Woman: “Ah…so, what time are you picking me up?”
Question: How do you help the woman?
Answer: You don’t help her. You help yourself. Do as much as possible before her date.
If she has your key, change your locks.
If she owes you money, try to collect as much as you can.
If you owe her money, try to pay her off.
Basically, wall her off from your affairs and keep her life from spilling over onto yours.

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